Yesterdays achievements.

Yesterday I achieved 2 things which I think Alicia approves of. The first is that I went into my studio and painted a picture, the second is that I watched Alicia on the television and felt much better for it!

I haven’t picked up a paint brush for the last 20 months since Alicia became ill, let alone painted a picture; but yesterday I finally decided it was time I went back into my studio, set out my things, and started trying to paint again. What I painted is nothing special, I certainly wouldn’t ever think of exhibiting it or asking anyone to buy it, but at least I ended the afternoon with a completed painting, and the feeling that I could go on painting… and I know that’s what Alicia wants.

She certainly doesn’t want me to spend whatever time is left to me in this world sitting around feeling sorry for myself, and just waiting to rejoin her!

Watching her on television was, in some ways much the easier achievement, and certainly the less stressful.

I have quite a lot of still photo’s of her in different places, at different times in her life, and doing different things. I have had some regrets that all I seemed to have were still photographs, and she was so full of life and energy that I almost felt short changed. Then I remembered that I had a video recording of a Mass televised from the church at Harvington in 1988 when we were joint custodians there. ( Lord…. , is it really 22 years ago?) and Alicia was part of the congregation.

At the time I recorded the transmission for the parish priest and celebrant, Father Tucker who wanted to watch it later that evening, and I haven’t watched it since. My recollection was that Alicia only appeared in it for one brief shot, and that at a distance. I was delighted, and not a little comforted to find that she appears quite a few times, and even has one close up shot while responding to the bidding prayers, and looked as lovely as I remember her looking.

Although, as I say, I was comforted by watching the video it was in some ways quite sad when I realised how many of our old friends at Harvington, who were also in the recording, have died in the subsequent years. R.I.P. to all of them.